This is normally how the process starts. A while later, a solution is provided. We follow it, hoping the problem will be eliminated.

I tried to cheer you up. But I couldn’t. One day you came back from hospital, with some medicines. Professionals said you were biologically ill. I couldn’t believe it. The medicines didn’t help you get better. Then you stopped taking them. I had too much to do. I could not let you to drag me into your abyss. I left, feeling selfish and cruel. A while after I left, you told me you had recovered. I asked how. You didn’t say anything specific. ‘It’s just gone’.

When I found myself in a place where knowledge is subverted and affliction sublimated, I was finally able to make sense of what we had been through.

《您有多少时间受到以下任何问题的困扰?》

这通常是整个流程的开始。我们耐着性子,等待一个解决方案。希望按着它做,问题就能得到解决。

我努力了很久,始终没法让你高兴起来。一天,你带着些药从医院回来。专业人士说你病了,生理上的。我没法相信。这些药也没能让你高兴起来。后来你就不吃了。我有很多事要忙,不能让你把我也拽进这个深渊。我离开了,觉得自己自私,残忍。当我们再次联系的时候,你告诉我你好了。“怎么好的?”“也没做什么,它自己就好了。”

我困惑极了,想要寻找答案。当我终于能够理解这些经历的时候,我发现认知已被颠覆,而苦痛却被升华。